Monday, February 23, 2009


A powerful word. I rarely get to use it though. It's just so rare when someone does something so lame that you think, "Wow, what a douchebag!". Well, today was that day. Want to know what a douchebag looks like? I could, of course, post his picture. But that might be bad. Instead, I'll post what he did...

We have teensy parking places at work. That's why I always park on the street. Best to be safe and not get my car dinged up. Today, I got back from lunch to find an email that had been sent to everyone in our building. "To the owner of the green VW bug who tried to park so that nobody would park next to you. Well, it didn't work. If you leave before I do, please come and see me, as I'll probably have to move my car." It was actually said in a normal email tone. Nothing sinister. Till I looked out my window.

Sweet Jesus! It, of course, looked a little different from upstairs. In fact, I had incorrectly estimated the distance between cars to be roughly 1/4 inch. I'm not quite sure it was that. I know that I couldn't get my finger between the two cars (I tried, see below).

Now, I'm looking at the VW. Yeah, it's parked on the line. BFD. It's not like we're a driving shop, for crissakes. And deal with it, douchebag. People just don't give a shit about taking the time to park their car in the morning. I'm just wondering how long it took this guy to park THAT effing close to make some type of point. Talk about a Jurrassic Jackass... Then, to email the entire building about it. "Hi, I'm an angry douchebag. Oh wait, that's MISTER douchebag to you.". Then the guy changes his IM status to: "people need to l2park". Uhhh... Wait a minute... Part of me wanted to reply to his email with the picture above and say, "That's not a very nice thing to do!", but clearly the guy has some anger issues he needs to work out!

Anyway, the owner of the VW opted not to move or contact the guy. And he ended up stewing all day and moved his car on his own.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Red Stapler...

I'm actually afraid to say this out loud. I like someone. Really LIKE him. We met about a month ago. The more I'm around him, the more I WANT to be around him, and when I'm away from him, I MISS him. I haven't felt like this in a very, very, very long time!

Last night, we had a date. Dinner and a movie. We watched "Office Space". Holy crap, I forgot how funny that movie is! Today, we were IM'ing, and I said, "Gosh, I really want a red stapler!". He said, "Me too!".

That's when I knew just how MUCH I liked him. I found myself driving to OfficeMax at lunch to buy a red stapler. I'm going to see him Saturday, and Valentine's Day is always an awkward holiday when you're just starting to date. What better way to break the ice than with a red stapler?