Friday, August 14, 2009


1:30 on a Friday. I don't want to be in the office. I want to be outside, or home doing laundry, or taking a nap. Or heck, even grocery shopping, which I have to do on my way home, else I cannot eat tonight or have a cup of coffee before I drive out to BF Egypt for a bike race. Better stop at the store...

Lots been going on. Finally took the plunge to FaceBook and as I was warned: what a time suck! Egad. I swore off any more of those dumb FB quizzes, but sometimes they really ARE fun. Especially on a day like today!

The move was fine. A rough transition though. Probably harder on my dog than me. I've lived alone for her entire life. Then I move into a multi-level town-home, with a male roommate (just a roommate, trust me), I take the dog's couch away and force her to be a dog and sleep in her dog bed and not on the furniture anymore, and the roommate is grumpy. Oh dear God. He is exactly like my step-Dad. Just a younger version. How can that be? Did I not learn enough life lessons living at home till I was 18? Jeesh. My dog gets a wee bit out of sorts when she's around my loud, obnoxious, negative, grumpy Dad, and we only visit once every few years. You can imagine her horror to having to live with that on a daily basis. She had an accident in the house the first week or so. Yikes! She NEVER has accidents. Ever. I was grateful for the carpet cleaner I'd purchased a few years ago, so I cleaned it up and vowed to keep her in my bedroom while I was out of the house. She'd had runny poop for almost the entire first week, and now she'd stopped drinking water. So I drowned her food with water, since her appetite seemed unaffected and this was my way of forcing water into her system. Well, now it's over a week, and I'm packed and ready to go race my MTB at Sea Otter. I decided to take the dog with me, just so I could keep an eye on her, and our last visit to the grass produced a bunch of bloody poops. Not good. I ended up calling the vet in tears, and begged them to get her in. Turned out it was just nerves, but she was dehydrated and they gave her a big shot of fluid under her skin, and sent us home with a bottle of doggy valium. She mostly slept it off and was a bit leary of the roommate for a long time (she's only started to come around him now, 4 months later!), but she was fine.

The roommate situation was pretty tough for me too. I've lived alone for almost 2 decades, and the last person I lived with was my ex-husband, Satan. Well, he had a name, but I prefer the nickname. It's more suitable. 4 months later, those things have mostly worked out. I still think he's the most OCD person on the planet, but I know him better and can give him grief for the stuff that used to completely freak me out. However, I came home the other night from work, and for whatever reason, he was in the office downstairs where we put bikes. He opened the door just as I was going to open it and there he stood: in a speedo. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! To his credit, he did try to cover up, but I'm sort of wondering what the hell he was doing in there, and he left in his car a few min later. I'm really hoping he put pants on first. I don't think I'll ask about that, because I really just don't want to know...

The red stapler guy is out of the picture. Completely. He apparently decided that he didn't want to see me anymore, but instead of being a man and talking to me about it, he just vanished. Not the full-on vanish, but the wimpy, "if I disappear and stop calling her, maybe she'll get it" type of vanishing act. Really disappointing in how he handled that one. I'm not so fragile that I'd fall apart and I had my reservations as it was. Fortunately for that, I wouldn't let myself get "too close" to him.

At the end of June, my Dad went into the hospital. Turned out, not only did he have a bad heart (which we all knew), but it was now only operating at 25% capacity. Add to that: he's 82. And add to that: he now had an infected gall bladder that needed to come out. So I get this news and I'm pretty shook up about it. And I have to race that weekend. So, not only did I get heat exhaustion racing at Benicia in 100-and-some-change degree temps (I threw up AND got the chills... yummy), I had to mentor the Burlingame Criterium by myself at 7:50 the next morning. And I felt like asssssss. I was sure that I was going to puke and get dropped, or get dropped and puke. Just wasn't sure of the order. I spent the first 15-min of the race in complete silence, as I was dying out there. I finally pulled my head out and started doing my job and ended up staying with the field. Unfortunately, there was a crash with 2 to go and as I swung wide and told everyone to keep going, I was already at the back and I stopped. The second I put my foot down, BLAM! Some chick rear-ended me and the impact blew the chain off, wrapped it around my crank and up in my spokes and down I went. Didn't get hurt, but it made me sooo mad and took a chunk of the paint and clearcoat off my downtube. Unreal. The next week I drove up to WA State with my dog and the bike, so I could spend some time with my Dad... He was up and down and up and down, and finally, after a few days, I saw a glimpse of his former self. Whew. The morning of the 4th of July, I went to go for a bike ride with my brother, and found my parents cat dead on the side of the highway. GAAAH. So I spent the late morning of the 4th, digging the cat off of the road, and burying him in their pasture. Poor kitty. My Dad's doing better now, but his health is still not great. Going home for Christmas this year. Might be the last one...

So I'm glad that summer is waning. It's been a year of change and ups and downs. I'm looking forward to my trip to Hawaii in October. Going for almost a full 2 weeks this time and I'm planning on doing a whole lot of nothing! Reading. Sunning. Driving around. Sleeping. Napping. Visiting the volcano, the SAFE way this time! And watching the Kona Ironman again. Heck, I might even do part of the bike ride this time. I'll have the time for it, certainly!

Friday, April 3, 2009

The final nail in the coffin...

I'm moving next week. And after today, it's one of those things where I have no doubt that I am making the right decision.

I was scheduled for a pre move-out inspection at 4 p.m. today. I needed to be home for it, so I busted my ass to get out of work at 2, so I could go ride and be home by 4. FAIL. I wasn't able to leave work till 3. I can do the ride later. Well, the wind is crap and my allergies are bugging me, so indoors it is.

However, it's 4:32, and still nobody has shown up for a "move out inspection". I just called the office and they are "sending someone over". I came home for this? Not that I'm not glad I'm here and not at work, but this is a bunch of hogwash.

Let me go down the list:

- My appliances are about as old as God.
- The refrigerator randomly freezes things - haven't been able to put eggs in the egg holders in the door since I moved in (last May). It's only stuff on the top shelf of the refrigerator too. Everything else is happy and unfrozen.
- The pipes have started knocking in the walls, bad. Whenever my upstairs neighbor flushes his toilet or runs water in the bathroom, knock, knock, clunk, clunk. For like 5 minutes after he shuts the water off. When I mentioned it to the office, "Oh that's normal.". Uh, not in the real world it's not.
- The washing machine is so rough on my clothes that 2 of my favorite tank tops are FULL of holes and in tatters. They were fine when I moved in last May...
- There seems to be a severe allergy to picking up your dog's crap around here. Good thing I get allergy shots.
- Speaking of dogs, everyone has dogs (plural, most have 2). And everyone's dogs bark. It sounds like a kennel around here. My dog is quiet, and all the barking prevents her from getting her 18 hours of beauty sleep each day, and prevents me from working at home. Especially when the gardeners come with the leaf blowers.
- Speaking of which, the gardeners with their arsenal of leaf blowers haven't been here to mow or blow leaves around for like 3 weeks. Maybe the bill didn't get paid?
- There are small gangs of pre-teenage boys everywhere, on skateboards. In the parking lots. Umm, isn't that the equivalent of "go play in traffic"?
- I have a leak in my apartment. And not just any leak. A foundation leak. Awesome. I found this out during the recent wet weather when the carpeting was really damp around my BR window and I hunted around looking for the leak, and was unable to find it, other than it was coming up from the floor. The office's solution? They came in and shampooed my carpet. Yeah, that'll fix a leak every time. When I explained that I think I found the source, I was told, "Oh, experts have looked at this. They know what they're doing.". Yeah, been told THAT ONE before and didn't believe it. I don't believe it this time either, but I don't give a crap, because I'm moving out.
- My guests never are able to find a place to park anymore. Why? Because everyone has 2 or 3 cars, and we are allotted ONE parking spot.
- Speaking of multiple cars... I just found out that the management actually allows 2 adults and THREE children to live (max occupancy) in each 2 BR 1 BA apartment home. Are you kidding me? That's the same one I've been living in, alone, for the last year. If I had to share a bathroom with another adult and 3 kids, there would be an unhappy ending.

It's 4:55 and the guy just left (at least he's nice and was honest, or at least I think he's honest. He's always been a cool guy...). He came at 4:40. The office told me my inspection was at 4:00. They told him: 4:30. UGGGHH!!!

End of rant. I can't wait to move next week...

Monday, March 30, 2009

I have a knot in my ass

The title sounds much more salacious than the actual fact: I have a knot in my gluteus something-us. But boy, does it hurt.

What hurts worse than having a knot, in a muscle, in your ass (the largest muscle in our body - umm, I think)? Sitting on a tennis ball to get that knot to release.

Sweet Jesus, that hurts. I have tears in my eyes as I write this...

Today, my life sucks. Clearly, I have a case of the Muuuuundays.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Beware - there was another sale on crazy pants*...

* Many, many thanks to Megan Guarnier for coining this phrase. I swear that it's the only way to think to keep things in perspective with so many asshats out there "acting out".

Last night, one of my friends and I went for a ride. It was a lovely night. Warm, sunny, a bit windy, but felt really good to be out. As we were riding across Arastradero, we heard a car honk behind us. In the process of moving over, the car pulls up next to us, and proceeds to "lecture" us about taking up too much space. Honestly, I didn't hear a lot of the conversation, as my teammate was actually in between us, but I heard something about "in the middle of the road" and "dangerous" and "holding up all these cars behind me". I yelled, "No, YOU'RE holding up all the cars behind you by being trying to educate us and driving in the middle of the road on a winding road with a crapload of blind corners!" At which point more words were exchanged (my blood was boiling and I heard very little), except the final, "What if I were to put you in the ditch?". WHAT? Are you effing kidding me? We BOTH yelled at him, "GO AHEAD! I'll call 911 right now and you have a TON of witnesses behind you! GO AHEAD!". My teammate said something about "you can buy my next education, and I think I want to go to LAW SCHOOL!". The guy even had the nerve to tell us that he was a cyclist. My ass he was a cyclist. I've never been so angry at a cyclist that I would threaten to "put them in the ditch", even in jest. I guess when you get really old, as this guy was, you feel the need to spread your "many years of wisdom around". Yeah pal, you can kiss my butt.

We got through most of the rest of the ride, but I was still pretty mad. In Redwood City, we had a SECOND encounter. This time it was with a fat, middle-aged woman. We were riding side-by-side on a deserted street when we heard a car. My teammate rode ahead and over into the bike lane, but we had to go around a car parked in the bike lane. Unfortunately, fat-ass decides to pass us at the same time, on a slight hill, with a pretty big blind spot - the down hill (and subsequent stop sign) at the bottom of it, which was pretty close to where we were. As I was cresting the hill I heard the screech of brakes and saw that the woman nearly went through the intersection! I kind of chuckled, thinking that she wasn't paying attention or something, because let's face it: 99% of CA drivers cannot be bothered to drive AND pay attention. But that was only part of it. Naturally, it was OUR FAULT she almost ran the stopsign. Again, I missed the bulk of the exchange because I was further back, but the woman made sure to slow up enough so that I could hear it too (I was honestly trying to stay the hell away from her when I realized she was serious). But I clearly heard: "This is why you guys are always getting killed. Riding in the middle of the road and blah blah blah." I was too stunned to even say anything. We weren't "in the middle of the road".

This is what makes me want to get a camera for my bike. It's been awhile since anything like this has happened to me, but it's so rare to encounter such rude, vile people. I'm still pretty upset about it today. In both cases, it was completely and utterly unnecessary. Sort of makes you wonder WHY someone would be so pissed off and so miserable with themselves that they felt they needed to pick on random strangers to make themselves feel better.

People, don't fall for the crazy pants sale! They're not worth it!!! And if you get the chance to get someone like this out of their car? Yank their crazy pants off!

Monday, March 16, 2009

The best T-shirt - ever

My officemate is pregnant. She wore this shirt last week and I thought it was the funniest thing I'd seen in a long time!

Well, when she wore it again today, I just HAD to have a picture!


Monday, February 23, 2009


A powerful word. I rarely get to use it though. It's just so rare when someone does something so lame that you think, "Wow, what a douchebag!". Well, today was that day. Want to know what a douchebag looks like? I could, of course, post his picture. But that might be bad. Instead, I'll post what he did...

We have teensy parking places at work. That's why I always park on the street. Best to be safe and not get my car dinged up. Today, I got back from lunch to find an email that had been sent to everyone in our building. "To the owner of the green VW bug who tried to park so that nobody would park next to you. Well, it didn't work. If you leave before I do, please come and see me, as I'll probably have to move my car." It was actually said in a normal email tone. Nothing sinister. Till I looked out my window.

Sweet Jesus! It, of course, looked a little different from upstairs. In fact, I had incorrectly estimated the distance between cars to be roughly 1/4 inch. I'm not quite sure it was that. I know that I couldn't get my finger between the two cars (I tried, see below).

Now, I'm looking at the VW. Yeah, it's parked on the line. BFD. It's not like we're a driving shop, for crissakes. And deal with it, douchebag. People just don't give a shit about taking the time to park their car in the morning. I'm just wondering how long it took this guy to park THAT effing close to make some type of point. Talk about a Jurrassic Jackass... Then, to email the entire building about it. "Hi, I'm an angry douchebag. Oh wait, that's MISTER douchebag to you.". Then the guy changes his IM status to: "people need to l2park". Uhhh... Wait a minute... Part of me wanted to reply to his email with the picture above and say, "That's not a very nice thing to do!", but clearly the guy has some anger issues he needs to work out!

Anyway, the owner of the VW opted not to move or contact the guy. And he ended up stewing all day and moved his car on his own.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Red Stapler...

I'm actually afraid to say this out loud. I like someone. Really LIKE him. We met about a month ago. The more I'm around him, the more I WANT to be around him, and when I'm away from him, I MISS him. I haven't felt like this in a very, very, very long time!

Last night, we had a date. Dinner and a movie. We watched "Office Space". Holy crap, I forgot how funny that movie is! Today, we were IM'ing, and I said, "Gosh, I really want a red stapler!". He said, "Me too!".

That's when I knew just how MUCH I liked him. I found myself driving to OfficeMax at lunch to buy a red stapler. I'm going to see him Saturday, and Valentine's Day is always an awkward holiday when you're just starting to date. What better way to break the ice than with a red stapler?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Since when does the phrase "kick it" make headlines?

Apparently when it comes out of the mouth of a young, COOL President. I've been cracking up today at CNN and the "crazy" things our new President is saying.

It's about freaking time the stodgy OLD GUYS got out of office. Breathe some life into politics, for crying out loud!

I'm just wondering if CNN altered or adjusted the crowd noise at the inauguration this morning. Because when Bush Sr and ESPECIALLY GW Bush were announced, I swear to God that you could hear crickets. I know I was unhappy with the both of them, and I've been fond of my saying, "Whenever there's a Bush in the White House, we go to war...", and I guess I knew just HOW unhappy the country is with him, but that was really sobering this morning.


Sunday, January 11, 2009

Lost pictures from 2008

My April Fool's Day joke at work (before):


Whenever I saw the original, I always thought it said, "Mother Goose". Took some folks awhile to "get it", but when they did, it was pretty funny. The sign remained until the fake S wore off, just a few months ago.

My fake "bobcat scratching". I told people for weeks that a Bobcat scratched me when I was mountain biking. :o) In reality: my bike fell over when I was standing on the side of the trail eating and my chain ring slashed my leg. It bled really good...

The "sleeping squirrel". You decide. Asleep? Crawled up under the car tire and died? Or was ran over and killed? I won't release the name of the person who's tire this is (to protect the innocent), but it was hilarious! Look at it - poor little squirrel...

The ugliest birds on the planet... They are called "Turkey Geese". Someone didn't bother hitting them with an ugly stick - they used the whole forest. These were pointed out to me at Christmas when I was in Texas. They have that weird red "waddle" or whatever its called that turkeys have on their beaks, and the black and white feathers. But they seem to have mates, so I guess there really IS someone for everyone...

Too bad this one isn't clearer, but I can't retake the picture, because I've already thrown it away. I'm including it as a lost 2008 picture because it was actually PURCHASED in 2008. Okay, so I didn't find it till yesterday, so technically it's 2009. But not. It took me awhile to figure out what it was, so I made sure to take a picture of the label:

Honestly, I thought it was a walnut. But it was curiously sparkly, like it was crystallized. I was scratching my head and then I saw the label. A cutie (tangerine). I bought a boatload of those last year. May, to be exact. I had a bona-fide science project fossilizing in the vegetable drawer of my refrigerator. BLEAH!!!

I'm glad it's 2009...