Happy New Year!

I've been remiss in adding any blog entries. Jeez. I hadn't realized it's been so long. I hope everyone had a really great holiday season, and best wishes for a healthy, happy 2008!

Updates on:

Work: We moved our offices to the Google MTV campus. Our bathrooms all have washlets (as shown in the last entry), but I've been afraid to use one! Just in case it misses or something.

Paper thief: I put the darned flour-filled paper out I don't know HOW many Saturdays in a row. No bites. But one morning, I was headed out with the flour-filled "bait paper" under one arm, and the dog leash in the other hand and I caught my neighbor as he was starting to head down my sidewalk. He freaked out, jumped and yelled and I was standing there saying, "Jeez, you ok?". It didn't dawn on me until about 10 min later than grown men don't freak out like that unless they're doing something wrong. Interesting... he's someone I'd steer clear of anyway (he screams in his sleep... anyone that has THAT violent of dreams is someone I do not want to encounter in the dark), but I never imagined that he was the paper thief. My paper has not been stolen since September.

Holidays: My usual luck with getting the short-end of the Christmas-weather-stick was absent this year. It usually snows, freezing rains, etc., whenever I visit Eastern WA. Couple of snow flurries this year, but nothing that stuck. The real news came when my flight leaving SFO was delayed for 4 hours, causing me to miss my connecting flight in Seattle, and Alaska Airlines was unable to swing getting me to Eastern WA for TWO DAYS. Luckily I have friends in Seattle and was able to spend a lot of time with my friend, Maria, AND get a lot of flat presents so they'd fit in my luggage. It all worked out great, as I'd wanted to have a 2-day layover in Seattle to see my friends there, and it was just too complicated to book.

Family: Most of my family is great, and I had a lot of fun seeing most of them for the holidays. But I have a step-dad for sale. Real cheap. In fact, I'd probably pay someone to take him off my hands.

Health: Well, it was great till a co-worker came to work sick. I fought it off for awhile, but a much-needed deep-tissue massage brought it out in full force. I was sick with it for 2.5 weeks and off the bike for 2 of those... It has wiped me completely out. I hope it didn't set my training back, but who knows? My HR was been out of control on rides the past few days (only been back on the bike for 5 days). It seems to be dependent on my fatigue and I saw a noticeable gain in HR when I got tired on yesterday's ride. All these years of training and it was only apparent YESTERDAY. I just stopped looking at my HR and rode by perceived effort. My power data was decent, so I think I'm ok.

On today's ride (before the storm), I got a cute pic of a feral cat on the bike path in Foster City. I had to circle back because the cat reminded me of the original cat from: http://icanhascheezburger.com/ (thanks to Courtenay and a co-worker of mine for pointing me to this cute site). I think I'll title it: THOSE BE MAH FRISKIES!

Cracking me up (pun intended)

Last Friday, we had a little TGIF celebration at Google. It was kind of a big deal, since they were basically introducing us (Postini) as a whole to the rest of the Google TGIF'ers. (Boy, that's a whole other blog post, let me tell you. I've worked with some geeky people in my 20+ years in high tech, but dammmmmmmmmmmmn. I saw some sh*t Friday that just takes the cake.)

We celebrated Google accomplishments (lots of polite clapping), and more Google accomplishments, blah, blah, blah. There was free food, and free beer (heyyyyy, that's what I'm talking about!) and free water. Oh, wait. Water IS free. Mostly. Anyway, all the water and beer and on the way back to the shuttle bus, I realized: I'm not going to make it back to San Carlos. I gotta pee! I stopped at a building and it was off to find the restroom. Found it, with the help of a fellow Googler! And jeez. What the hell? The toilet seat looked weird. Surgical-like hoses coming out of it, a weird little control panel on the wall next to the toilet. What is this? When I sat down, I found that the seat was HEATED! As I was examining the control panel, I realized that the funny toilet seat was actually a bidet! It even had pictures on the buttons. Ha, ha, ha.



Okay, I've never seen a bidet. I admit it. But an OFFICE building was the last place on Earth (next to my parents place) that I ever expected to see one! The worst part: I was on the verge of cracking up, but I couldn't, because someone else was in there!!! I was afraid to test it out, in case it reacted badly and I didn't want to explain why the back of my shirt was all wet...

N U T S

Today is going to be nuts. I'm not sure exactly when things will take a turn for the crazy side, but I expect it will be somewhere around 3. Today is the day when "officially", Google takes over. Today I work for Postini. Tomorrow I will be a Google employee. A Googler, or is it a Giggler? At least I will still be employed!

Some stand to make an a**load of cash for their stock options. I'm on the low end of the totem pole (engineering scum), so I'll make a fair bit. Not enough to quit my day job (and race full-time), mind you. But enough that I think I can buy a place to live sometime next year. For those that will be semi-millionaires, and millionaires, and multi-millionaires, the celebration is planned. This showed up yesterday, courtesy of one of the soon-to-be-millionaires:



Someone added a couple of magnums to the collection this morning. I added a can of Coke, to gain perspective of the size of the GrandDaddy. Gawddamn, that bottle is big. I almost fell over last night when I took a look at it (after prodding from other engineers, because I didn't believe them). That's a whole lotta champagne. The last time everyone at work was drunk was in July. When the announcement was first made about the buyout. It was kind of scary, actually. One man, who apparently really likes to drink (a LOT) was pretty hammered. He cornered me (reeeeee! reeeee! reeeee!) and proceeded to tell me how he remembered (and obviously liked) the dress I wore at the holiday party. Umm, that was in JANUARY. Granted, I never wear dresses to work, I mean, why would I? I don't see customers, I sit at a computer all day. I'd not want to date someone from work, so who do I need to impress? Nobody. But I'd lost weight and I promised myself that I'd wear that dress for the holiday party, if I'd lost enough weight. I hadn't worn it in YEARS. And it looked GOOD on me. But damn, y'all. I didn't think some drunken engineer would remember that dress many months later... and as he was telling me about it, he was standing about an inch away from me. Kind of makes me want to re-think the dress code for the holiday party NEXT year...

And here we go again. I'm going to hide from him later today. HIDE, I tell you. I know that's not very grown up, but I don't care. :o)

Random musings (of a spaz)

I used to LOVE going to the gym. Of course, that was when I was bodybuilding. And I was living in Seattle, where it rains 9 months (or more) of the year. Ride a a bike outdoors in Seattle? Fuggetabout it. So I lifted weights. And competed in bodybuilding shows. And tanned. OMG, did I tan. I hope it never bites me in the butt, but I digress.

I started lifting again last week. I imposed a 2-3 week ban from the bike for myself, and headed back into the gym. Figured I'd do some other stuff. Rock climbing. Weights (and not the wimpy ones I have at home), real weights! Running. Anything but the bike. I even got new running shoes on Saturday after watching the track championships. I had every intention of going to the gym last night after work. I packed my gym bag and was ready to go. Ready to try out my new running shoes. On the way to the bathroom at work, I wondered: "Nuts. What shirt did I bring with me for the gym?". AUGH! NO SHIRT! Dammit. I had everything but a shirt. I'm not going to the gym in my work shirt, so I went home instead. Bloody hell. Went home and watched some silly reality show (The Pick Up Artist). I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, but it's hilarious. The "supposed" master of the show I wouldn't let near me with his weird goggles, but one of his sidekicks is pretty hot. Silly entertainment.

So about an hour or so before bed (I wasn't really tired, but knew I had to get up early for the gym), I took an Advil P.M. I got a free sample with my Sunday paper. Obviously, I wasn't that tired, or I'd have not stayed up to watch 4 dorks trying to hopelessly learn how to pick up chicks. Finally, I made myself go to bed. Damn, I just couldn't sleep.



The next thing I know, the alarm was going off. Huh? I just went to bed! I felt like I was in a coma, or drugged, or something. I had no idea where I was or what the hell that noise was (the alarm). After much procrastination, I got out of bed and started the coffee. I finally got my butt out of the house and to the gym, and it felt pretty good to be lifting in the morning.

For whatever reason I didn't notice it last week, but this morning it was clear. Ewww. Lots of dudes with hairy legs. That USED to look normal to me. And I actually kind of liked it. And I liked the big muscular guys. Okay, I still like the guys with big muscles, but only if they shave their legs! I don't even know how I'd handle that if some cute, muscular guy got all friendly with me. "Oh, sure. We could go out, but only if I could shave your legs." Ha, ha, ha. That might actually be funny... Somehow, I don't think the guy would think so though.

Apparently the combination of: Advil PM, good night's sleep, coffee, lifting weights and just one more cup of coffee has made me into one hyper, computer nerd today. I cannot sit still. I am completely unable to maintain my train of thought. I'm almost scared because I have an acupuncture appointment tonight which either makes me really sleepy or really hyper. Jesus. If it's the latter, I'd better be stopping at the store for more of that Advil PM, otherwise I will be trying to recruit neighbors to my impromptu aerobics class in the parking lot.

Oh yeah. Nobody stole the flour-filled paper last Saturday morning (damn!!!). It remains, in it's plastic bag, awaiting the next time I get to try to catch the paper thief.

Payback's a b*tch

I hate when people steal things. Two of the last three Saturdays, I've had to leave early, before my paper arrived. One of the Saturdays, I didn't get home till around 4, so it didn't really matter. But last Saturday, I got home around noon. No paper. WTF? I think I'm the only person in my building that gets a paper, but people, please. Buy your own effing paper! How much are they, like $0.50? If you can't afford your own paper, then maybe you should move to a more affordable neighborhood, no?

As I usually do, I opted not to get mad, but to get even. I swear to God, if my front porch were made of wood, I'd nail the paper to it, but then again, my paperboy must be sleeping in on Saturdays. Last Saturday, I left at 6:30, no paper. Dude. 6:30!!! So, I kept a paper from Thursday. And of course, I keep the little blue plastic bags they come in, because they make awesome poop bags! Tonight I doctored up that paper.



I lay it on the kitchen counter, opened and filled each section with flour. Not a ton, but enough to make a mess. I put the entire paper back together as it came to me, put it back in the plastic bag, and it's lying in the hall. I plan to leave in the morning, grab the *real* paper and switch it with the flour-filled paper. Muwahahaha! I hope that whomever is stealing it gets that sh*t all over themselves and all over their apartment. It will absolutely serve them right.

If you wonder where this comes from, it comes from my Grandmother, Ruth. My Dad's Mom. She was my rock. Greatest cook in the world, and a fabulous mother-figure for me. When she was working, she'd put her lunch in the company refrigerator. Someone kept stealing her sandwich. So, one day, she got even. She made a sandwich, with some Ex-Lax in it. Put it in the refrigerator just like all the other days. And sure enough, it was stolen. I remember how funny she thought that was, and you know, I get it. I really do. If you steal, then you deserve what you get!

Don't get mad, get EVEN!

My dog is a dork

While this is somewhat old news, now that I've figured out how to post photos to my blog, watch out!

A very dear friend of mine moved to LA last month. We decided to have a nice little dinner and some wine before she left and so I took my dog, Bette, to go see her. Before dinner, we took a walk to the little park near her old apartment in San Mateo (Central Park). As we walked in, we were so busy talking that I somehow missed the HUGE metal dog sculpture at the South entrance. Well, I saw it on the way out. So did Bette. Bette, who is usually terrified of large dogs, just stood and STARED at it. Then she walked over, put her paws up on it's chest and proceeded to sniff it's nose! I was floored and fumbled around trying to get my camera phone to take a picture, but it took so long the moment (and it was a LONG one too, so I guess that makes me a BIGGER dork than Bette) was over.

I just got the camera part figured out and we tried to get her to do it again, but she was over it. However, before we left, she gave the dog the classic "dog greeting". I managed to save that little moment, luckily.



You would have thought Bette would have figured out that it really wasn't a dog when she tried to sniff it's nose. Not to be deterred, I guess she had to make ABSOLUTE CERTAIN before we walked away... Classic.

My kharma was pee'd on by someone's dogma

This past weekend were 2 of the Cal-Cup races, Dunnigan Hills (air quotes) Road Race and the Suisun Harbor Criterium. Dunnigan Hills is a sprinter's dream for a road race. 700' of climbing in about 43 miles. And this year would include a flat finish.

My teammate (MaryEllen) and I leave my place at 5 a.m. on Saturday to get to the race. She was asleep, but we were making good time until we got to Vacaville. Traffic jam!!! Construction running late. OMFG. I had to pee, and I would have made it to Yolo, if not for the traffic jam. We lost about 20 minutes. By the time we got past it, I was pretty uncomfortable. Exiting 80 onto 113 North, there were seams in the pavement (or so it FELT like), which were killing my bladder. We missed stopping at the first exit, which had a nice Starbucks, a service station, etc. Argh! The next few exits contained nothing but farmland, and the bushes were looking pretty good. MaryEllen has a talent for spotting McDonald's signs and there it was. Just at the offramp in Woodland. I literally ran into the bathroom, whilst she strolled in behind me. Although I usually put my car keys into a pocket or someplace else, this particular moment, they were in my hand. As I turned to flush the toilet, they fell INTO the toilet. It all happened in slow motion. I was too out of it to take a swipe at them to knock them away, so all that was heard was, "Plink" followed by "f**************************************ck!!!!!". MaryEllen calls out, "I'm NEVER touching your keys again..." I didn't even want to touch them, because what do all bike racers do prior to races, besides pee? Awww, nuts. I grabbed them after standing there, horrified. Flushed the toilet and ran screaming to the sink where I threw them in the sink and proceeded to wash both my hands and the keys with soap and water.

Once we started the race, I was fine, till about 45 minutes in. My left hip has really been bugging me, and it's tight. WAY tighter than it's normally been. Jane Robertson attacks and I went with her. Well, I tried to go with her, but I didn't quite have enough to get there from here. We got caught rather quickly anyway, and I was sitting in, trying to recover. I seemed to be recovering, heart-rate wise, but I can't explain what happened other than I had barely any power. The pack started to ride away from me. And despite my accelerations, I could not stay. I chased for awhile and got within about 10 bike lengths and then they just rode away. MaryEllen was looking like she was going to come back for me, but I waved her on. Considering what was going on, I'd not have been able to keep up much longer anyway. My hip/glute continued to degrade until the pain was shooting into my low back, and down my left leg. I was barely moving on the slight rollers (around 5 mph) and nothing is steep on that course. As I was making the long trek back on the straight, boring, 99West, I decided to eat some of my GU. I pulled the GU flask out and when I went to eat it, it was pooled in the bottom. So I held it upside down for about a minute and then ate some. It went into my mouth, and all down my chin. ARGH. I put it away and wiped it off my chin. Then I looked down. It was all down the front of my shorts and my left leg, clear to my knee. And it was a combination of chocolate and espresso (read: brown). God. I tried to wipe it off, but it wasn't keen to leave my leg, so I left it. A few minutes later, I looked down to find a big blob of it, pooled on the top tube, near the seat post. ACCCK. I scooped it up with my thumb and ate it too. When I finally got to the finish line, MaryEllen was waiting for me (she'd won! And I'm so bummed I missed it, but thank God she didn't need me!). "Dude, what's all over your shorts?"

After arriving back at the registration area, I went into the bathroom to clean up. Wiped it off my shorts and my leg, and then went to clean the bike up. Man, that stuff was all over the place. Top tube. Seat post. Even in my rear brake! Threw the towel away and went to mount the bike. Looked down at my left (white) shoe. Sick. It was ALL over my shoe! Back to the bathroom. Stuck foot in the sink and washed my shoe off. Back to the bike. All is well. In talking to 2 girls from Touchstone and MaryEllen, the one girl points at my chest and said, "You missed some." MaryEllen starts laughing and said, "You're right! They DO catch everything!!!" :o)

The next day, the hip issue is still bugging me, which basically takes me out of any contention at Suisun Harbor, so I ride back to my car, shove a gel ice pack down into my skin suit (do these shorts make my butt look fat?) and proceed to roll around town and around the course, encouraging MaryEllen. I came back to the course to find 2 of the women from our race on the ground! I hadn't realized the Virginia Perkins AND MaryEllen both went down in this crash too, because they were both still in the race. Later, Virginia comes out of the race, and we're standing there talking. MaryEllen comes rolling up, and yells, "Dude, give me your rear wheel!" "What?" "Give me your rear wheel! I have a flat!" So I yank it off my bike, Virginia holds my bike and MaryEllen and I go running back to the pit. Mind you, I still have the ice pack in my skin suit and said running action sends it South, so now it's basically fallen down below my butt and is attached to the back of my leg. We arrive at pit in record time (sprinting in road shoes is not recommended) and they tell her, "Sorry, free laps are over. You have to chase." She takes my wheel and takes off, and I head back to my bike with her dead wheel. When I put it onto my bike, someone points at it and said, "Whoa. Look at that!"



Whoever thought a safety pin would flat a tire? Damn. She ran over it a few times too, so it was bent pretty good and looked like someone just fastened it in the tire.

While it was a less-than-desirable weekend, it was still a lot of fun. I have great (albeit, disgusting) stories from the experience, and I'll be more careful with key placement in the restroom in the future. Thank God I didn't drop the keys in the porta-potty. Cuz ewwwww.